While coping with the requirements of the difficult roles of caregiving, caregivers may develop feelings, and these feels are quite normal. Often, caregivers will not speak out, because of embarrassment for having these feelings. But, it is important for us to know these feelings and to ensure others that it is a normal part of caregiving.
Helplessness
Caregivers may feel helpless because of their loved one’s condition. They cannot change the illness or they cannot make things better. Caregivers often give all they have to help those they love, but yet they still may feel that what they are doing is not enough. It is important for caregivers to realize that by doing the best they can is indeed helping their loved ones. They cannot possibly change the events that have taken place, but can learn to work with them.
Anger
Caregivers may feel anger, but it is not necessarily directed at their loved one. Instead, it is at the situation that they are now put in. This is very common and if we look at all that caregivers have to go through, it is quite understandable that anger is a natural feeling for a Caregiver. Caregivers often have to give up some of their lives in order to care for their loved ones. This can be seen in the child who is now caring for a parent. These caregivers have their own families and now they have to split the time between their family and their parent. I have seen caregivers who have had to quit their jobs in order to care for their loved ones.
Denial
Caregivers may be in denial about their current role. “I will only have to care for mom for a few days” or “Dad’s illness will go away soon.” Also, they may be in denial about their feelings for fear of what others may think.
Overwhelmed
Caregivers may feel overwhelmed by the many tasks they perform Caregivers day out. Caregivers may express these feelings by saying, “I just can’t do it anymore,” “There isn’t enough time in the day to get everything done,” or “I am run down.”
Embarrassment
Caregivers may feel embarrassed by a certain behavior their loved one may be expressing. This can especially be seen in loved ones with a dementing illness such as Alzheimer’s. It is okay to feel embarrassed. But, also know that your loved one is not doing this behavior to intentionally embarrass you.
Regret
Caregivers may feel regret. “If I had only done this,” or “What if I had said this instead of that?” It is human nature to have regrets. If we look back on our lives, I am sure we can all come up with different scenarios on situations we were in. That is why it is important to know that we do the best we can with what we are given. We cannot change things we have done in the past, we can only make things different from this point on. Caregivers.
Isolation
Caregivers may feel like they are the only ones that can help their caregivers. Although they are the caregiver, it is crucial to become aware of programs in the community to help with the caregiving role. You do not have to be alone. For those fortunate enough to have family and friends that will help, accept the help. For those who do not have family and friends, look to the community.
Frustrated
Caregivers may feel frustrated with the caregiving role, especially if the caregiver is the only one providing care for their loved one, frustrated for feeling frustrated and frustrated for not being able to make things as they were.
Worry
Caregivers worry about their loved ones. “Is this the right decision?” “Is there anything else I should be doing?”
Guilt
Caregivers may feel guilty because of having some or all of these feelings. They may feel guilty for feeling like they haven’t done enough for their loved ones.
The caregiving role can be quite time-consuming, not allowing caregivers to take notice of how they are feeling. In order to be effective caregivers, effective handling of roles and feelings can make the caregiving less stressful.
